Jail Tales – Memoirs of a ‘lady’ prison governor with Chris Duffin

Whether its flying out of the UK with a briefcase full of class A drugs, talking to the BBC’s John Humphries in her nightie, or having MYRA HINDLEY as her tea-lady, Chris Duffin’s life as a prison governor was never dull.

In ‘Jail Tales’ she recounts some of the many stories and incidents from her twenty-year career as a prison governor. These tales will amuse, entertain and definitely change your view of what it’s like doing ‘porridge’.

JAIL TALES – EXTRACT

‘I am by nature shy, quiet and retiring.’

So, there I was, rookie prisoner officer Christine Zapletal, standing in the doorway of a prison house at Styal Women’s Prison, waiting for ‘my’ twenty-odd girls to leave for their days work around the jail. In those days the houses at Styal were all named after prison reformers, Fry House, Howard House, etc and, as luck would have it, mine was named after a certain John Hooker. And where had the powers that be decided to put all the prostitutes? In a house with a large sign above the door reading ‘HOOKER’. Beneath which it was my job to stand every morning.

Each day the girls filed out with comments like, ‘Getting much business, Miss?’ To which I replied, ‘No. Too many amateurs in here giving it away. We’ve got to organise and get our prices right, ladies.’

On reflection, I think I’d always wanted to be a professional screw.

I just couldn’t decide whether or not to wear a uniform.

This event is open to everyone.